I have known for a long time now that YouTube and video games have become idols to me. When I am tired, I turn to them to relax. When I am frustrated, I turn to them to let my mind unwind. I turn to them to forget my sorrows, to reward myself for accomplishing something, to motivate myself to do work. This has become increasingly dissatisfying. I am still troubled; I still find frustrations. I lack peace. They do not still the anxiety in my heart. All they do is distract me from reality for small periods of time.
I feel myself struggling spiritually when I indulge. Temptations to sin are stronger and more persistent. My mind grows clouded, and God grows more distant.
I am not saying YouTube and video games are not bad in themselves. For me they are not great, especially the degree to which I rely on them. I should be turning to the Bible and prayer when I am frustrated and struggling. The Lord God is the God of peace. Only with Him can things become better. There will continue to be struggles for the rest of my life but with Him, and Him alone, I can be satisfied with my life. With Him I can know peace.
Lately, these past weeks and months, I have been turning to God more. Less to distractions and more to Him. My desire for Him has never been greater. I am not completely cured of my addictions, but they hold less sway over my life. The hard times are still present, but they are easier because I talk to Him more.